Gone Gone Gone

by Fred Gillen Jr

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1.
With a colt 45 and death in my eyes I’m taking back what’s mine across these faded streets, through the haze of the summer heat they’re gonna know I mean business this time when you see me coming, you know you’d better run because I’m firing long before I see the whites of your eyes and I’ll never regret and you’ll never forget the day I finally said goodbye I’m leaving this town this time And you won’t see me around this time anymore I’m leaving this town this time And you won’t see me at the corner bar or the grocery store What’s a nice guy like me doing in a dump like this I’ve been asking myself for so long now I’ve got an ex- girlfriend everywhere I turn I’ve got to wear a disguise to get around the few faces I’ve seen that I want to see again are all gone, gone, gone I don’t know where they are or if they’ll ever come back I’m not waiting around, I’m gonna find them I’m leaving this town this time And you won’t see me around this time anymore I’m leaving this town this time And you won’t see me at the corner bar or the grocery store Like ten clowns packed in a Volkswagen For so long I couldn’t find the door Eighteen hands were blocking my way But I’m not gonna sweat in here anymore
2.
I woke up with my head against your chest today I didn’t do anything stupid last night so now we can enjoy the day You take my hand, you’re holding more than flesh and blood Through the air around these bones the feelings fly like Noah’s flood There’s something in your eyes that makes me trust enough to speak But I must admit your presence makes my knees weak Take it easy, but take it My heart is in your hands,please don’t break it Take my heart, take my heart Take my heart, take my heart You woke up something in me that had laid asleep so long A stirring in my veins like the first chords of a new song I’m ready now to listen, I’m ready to come clean There’s something in your eyes that makes me trust enough to speak Take it easy, but take it My heart is in your hands, please don’t break it Take my heart, take my heart Take my heart, take my heart You never know what you’ll find when you stop looking There’s a path to walk and you might be afraid Love is strong, but in order to go on You’re gonna need some hope.
3.
Free! 05:32
I feel giddy as a school boy in the spring Whenever you walk by I can hear a million bells ring My head feels like an orchestra I can’t believe you can’t hear that sound How could I have been asleep for so long? Twenty-odd years I’ve been gone, gone, gone Now I’m watching the road and trying to hear the radio over my own voice, the din is deafening but I don’t care if I go deaf because I’m free Please take my hand, I’m yours to lead Lead me down a dark alley, I’ll feel my way if I can’t see I’ve been hiding in the dark and you are the light brightly shining How could I have been asleep for so long? Twenty-odd years I’ve been gone, gone, gone Now I’m listening to the road, staring at the station numbers the dashboard light is blinding But I don’t care if I go blind because I’m free If this is a dream then let it come to its conclusion don’t even wake me if they start the revolution And if I starve before I wake Don’t worry, give my bones a shake If I was mad I must be sane If I was sane I must be crazy A cop pulled me over-he said I was going too damn fast So I kissed him softly and he locked me up and threw away the key Now everyone in this jailhouse is singing Instead of playing cards and staring at the walls We stay up all night and raise our voices through the halls We’re singing along Trying not to bust up laughing Even the warden seems to have perfect pitch I don’t care if they take me down to death row to execute me I’m Free, we’re free
4.
Fallen Angel 05:07
We can’t change who we are but sometimes we can play convincing roles we think we run things here but this life is not ours to control if I didn’t make things clear, there was one thing that I knew I could never forgive myself fo ever hurting you The devil is just a fallen angel and I am just a man I wish I could change circumstances but I’ve done the best I can I didn’t know I was contagious untill I saw you getting sick, and I knew I had to run so if I’m going then I think it’s time for me to start A better time will never come and if I don’t look back, it’s not because I didn’t love you It’s just that I’ll be paralyzed if I don’t find a way to stop thinking of you The devil is just a fallen angel and I am just a man I wish I could change circumstances but I’ve done the best I can Fallen angel, fallen angel now I understand your fate looking on at something so beautiful that you can’t touch, no matter how long you wait now I’m out here on my own and everything I own is all that’s in my heart I try to see the meaning of each moment but it’s not easy when you know what could’ve been
5.
Hell hound’s on my trail again, I can almost feel its breath If I don’t get away from here this town could be my death So I’m packing up my bowling ball, my dog and my guitar I’m gonna put some mileage on this car Maybe I’ll go to California, ‘cause there I hear the rain hardly falls The women grow up strong and greet you with a smile Its salutations California style I’m picking up some Junior Mints and a couple packs of gum I’m looking forward to hearing you say “hey man, we’re mighty glad you’ve come And as for this old, run-down place and these people who claim to be friends I hope I never pass this way again Maybe I’ll go to California, ‘cause there I hear the rain hardly falls The women grow up strong and greet you with a smile Its salutations California style I long to see the dessert, I want to ride the waves I’m gonna walk those golden canyons from that picture that you gave me Scrapbooks full of memories, throw them on the fire I’m gonna wear some rubber off these tires Maybe I’ll go to California, ‘cause there I hear the rain hardly falls The women grow up strong and greet you with a smile Its salutations California style
6.
My calling card died three days ago and I’ve been driving since then without sleep I’m calling from the lobby of a cheap motel and I know in the morning I can’t pay the bill I can’t let the police catch up with me so I’ll be on the lamb without a plan I miss you. I want to kiss you one more time before I die I’m glad I couldn’t call ‘cause I’m afraid that he might answer And who could blame you anyway? Why should you wait for weeks alone? So I guess ignorance is bliss as they say But I’m still out here wondering, I guess as long as you are happy for a moment it’s ok I miss you. I want to kiss you one more time before I die I voted by absentee ballot in the last three elections I don’t know if my vote even counted because I haven’t got a home I miss you. I want to kiss you one more time before I die So now I’m risking the last two bucks I’ve got To give your number one last shot I can’t leave any call back number Because I haven’t got a home I miss you. I want to kiss you one more time before I die
7.
http://www.woodyguthrie.org/Lyrics/I_Aint_Got_No_Home.htm
8.
Dogfood 04:27
Those lights look more like dragon fires than stars The bubbling magma veins are only cars Lining up like ants they march but find no sustenance In the harsh, fluorescent, neon, concrete dessert When it rains the water sits in stagnant pools Breeding insects to infect us fools We traded in our freedom for a tiny, shiny box Racing on a raging slab to nowhere Skidding all the way to the dogfood factory You can grind my bones but my soul will still be free You can run untill your souls fall from your feet You can burn rubber up this street You can have the longest stride of any in this place But you’ll never win in this fixed race Skidding all the way to the dogfood factory You can grind my bones but my soul will still be free Young people are risking their lives tonight For a moment of feeling strong and beautiful and bright Some will survive and some will die
9.
Obliterate 04:25
Memories like weeds are choking my eyes you’d think I was eighty years the way they leave me blind if I don’t find a way to get away for a couple of hours they may end up strangling these few, ragged flowers temptation is the only thing that seems to take these ghosts out of my dreams but if I succumb I wind up worse than before I need a clean slate, I need a tape I can erase I need something to obliterate my thoughts and dreams I wish I was dumb sometimes, but I’m not so I’ll have to get numb I’ve painted my history in blood and now I’ll no longer cry sometimes I wish I had a switch to turn off my mind’s eye you come along in Technicolor with my salvation in your hand I lay my head on your breast, too tired to make a stand I need a clean slate, I need a tape I can erase I need something to obliterate my thoughts and dreams I wish I was dumb sometimes, but I’m not so I’ll have to get numb beautiful nurse please do something to ease my pain I don’t care about tomorrow morning, it’s still far far away take off your white hat and let down your hair like Rapunzel,let me climb you because I can’t find the stair we can sigh together ‘till the morning comes How many times can you watch one scene rewind and rewind and rewind again turn the channel, I need to laugh untill I’m sore I need a clean slate, I need to obliterate My incriminating history I need some mystery instead of misery Something to make me forget Make me forget, make me forget
10.
I met her on a train, she was sitting, looking at the rain I asked her if I could join her party she said she was alone and that she was going home or at least she was looking to try and find one We talked about our plans, our total lack of plans and the places we’d seen on our journeys I said I was alone and my destination was unknown I asked her if she’d care to join me Do I remind you of your youth? Do I remind you that the truth isn’t lurking very far away from a conversation on a train? When the train had stopped and we’d gotten off we saw the lights in the distance of a carvinal and she said “oh, if that could be my life, the rides and smells and smiles every night, then my life would truly be a miracle.” Do I remind you of your youth? Do I remind you that the truth isn’t lurking very far away from a conversation on a train? I said “why don’t you take a little ride with me, we could jump off this train somewhere and finally be free.” The sun in the sky and you and I we’ll fly into the sunset like a Hollywood movie Do I remind you of your youth? Do I remind you that the truth isn’t lurking very far away from a conversation on a train?

credits

released April 1, 2006

Produced by Fred Gillen Jr., recorded by Gillen at Woody's House, Croton -on- Hudson, NY

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Fred Gillen Jr Peekskill, New York

NYFA grant recipient Fred Gillen Jr has released 9 full-length albums, and 5 ep’s, has toured all over the U.S. and Europe solo, and Nepal and India with Greenheart. His songs have been on ABC's "All My Children," NPR's "Car Talk," CMJ, and his version of Woody Guthrie's "I Ain't Got No Home" was featured on "Pete Remembers Woody," a collection of Pete Seeger's spoken stories about Woody Guthrie. ... more

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